Saturday, February 12, 2011
Happy Baa-aah-lentine's Day
Remember what happened last year? Your flowers were dead in 3 days. That box of candy you got? It made your ass fat. That nighty you went out and bought? It doesn't fit you anymore because of that damned box of chocolate.
In my very tame and calm opinion...Valentine's day is harmful. It puts so much stress and pressure on relationships. Does a dozen roses really make you feel loved? Does it confirm the happiness of your relationship? Do we really have to go out and buy a bunch of pink and red shit to validate our love? Do I really need a stuffed animal at my age? No. Do I want flowers? I'd rather have a plant that I can kill on my own.
You know what Valentine's Day is? It's a fight waiting to happen.
I wish women would stop making this holiday such a big deal. You're giving us all a bad rap. If you want to do something nice for your significant other for Valentine's Day, I say Step Away from the Valentine's Day. You know what would be nice? A day of love and romance you DIDN'T EXPECT! A massage out of the blue. A night on the town for no reason at all. A day where your man walks in from work and you're cooking up dinner in a sexy teddy that isn't red NOR pink!
Put that in your Valentine's pipe and smoke it!