Thursday, September 09, 2010

JapaKnees Weak Chicken

This is my death row meal.  I'm not kidding.  If I ever go crazy enough to get a death sentence, this is the main course I request for my last day on Earth.  It's called Japanese chicken, but I think it's only appropriate for its name to be upgraded to JapaKnees Weak Chicken, because it will literally make you weak in the knees.  We got the recipe from my Aunt Sharon many, many years ago and I've been making it myself since I was about 15 years old.  I almost hesitated to share it because it's one of those recipes that shouldn't be shared.  I really don't want you to even know about it, but I feel bad for all you poor souls who have never tasted it.  I will stop now with my raving, but know not, I repeat, DO NOT make this meal for anyone you are not 100% friends with.  Because they will be back.  And they will want more.

Chicken (about 2-3 breasts will feed about 3-4 people with sides, but who the hell wants sides with this?)
Corn Starch
Vegetable Oil
Marinade (the longer you do this, the better.  I usually try to marinate my chicken in the morning, giving it at least 8 hours to absorb):
Soy Sauce
Peanut Oil
Red Wine
I will explain how much in a minute (sort of...measuring is not my forte).

First, cut chicken into bite sized chunks.  Place your chicken in a bowl that will allow for enough liquid to cover it.  Cover chicken almost entirely in soy sauce.  Splash a good glug of red wine in with it (maybe 1/8 cup).  Then add in about 1 tablespoon of sesame oil.  It should taste very soy saucy with a good hint of peanut oil.  I have also been adding in a splash of Mongolian fire oil because I love heat.  Stir it all together so it's combined, cover with plastic wrap and put it in the fridge.

Once your chicken has been marinating for a good 6-8 hours, get a ziplock bag and some cornstarch.  I usually use about 1/2 can of cornstarch for about 3 chicken breasts.  Put cornstarch in the ziplock and add chicken (drained of the soy mixture) in batches so everything gets evenly coated.  Place coated chicken on a cutting board.  Once all the chicken is coated, place a large pot on the stove filled with vegetable oil.  You are about to deep fry, so make sure you have enough oil for the chicken to swim in and make sure you have a fire extinguisher handy!

Heat oil in pot to 350 and add chicken to oil in batches of about 8-9 pieces of chicken.  Stir so they don't stick.  It takes about 5-6 minutes per batch.  The chicken will float when it's ready and it will be a dark brown.

Lately, I've been making a mustard dipping sauce with Country Style Grey Poupon (the grainy one) and a little mayo or sour cream, whichever you prefer.  Or you can eat it by itself.  I would eat this chicken off the floor of a barn. 

Eat up Johnny.  And don't forget...keep this one a secret unless you really love someone.  It's my most favorite thing in the whole world.  Don't make me kick your ass for passing it along to just any old Joe Schmoe.  This one is special.

1 comment:

Andy Halliday said...

I hope you make it for me some day.