Easiest, Yummiest, Summertime Dinner EVER!

Beef with Bacon & Bleu Slider

Jalapeno, Cheddar Beef Slider

Lamb Burger with Arugula & Rosemary/Garlic Mayonnaise

Sliders are the fastest, easiest thing to do for a large crowd of people because all you really have to deal with is making the burgers and providing the toppings. I stuck my buns in the oven at 350 for about 10 minutes. Seasoned Ground Beef & Ground Lamb with Cavender's and grilled the burgers for about 5 minutes. Then we just put whatever we had in our fridge on top! Delicious, fast food that tastes WAY better than any fast food restaurant. And I highly recommend the lamb...baaaahhh!

Nelly Frittata

I've been trying to do the gluten free thing, but as you know, bread is my weakness. So even though I'm pretty sure I have a gluten allergy, it's just not easy for me to consistently eat like I should. Me without bread is like Abbott without Costello, like breakfast without bacon, like a junkie without a fix. It just doesn't work, and there's no reason to put my loving husband through the pain that is me, without bread. But since I'm trying to be good to my only-get-one-chance body, I have been trying to make some adjustments to my diet. And this is one of the latest gluten free creations. Chorizo, Egg & Potato Frittata. And yes, I am aware that this type of eating is not good for me either :) I'm a glutton for good food, it puts a smile on my face! Don't make me explain the junkie without a fix thing again.

Recipe here.

For the Halibut

Potato Encrusted Halibut



Encrusting anything is hard. I usually end up with a decrusted, encrusted piece of chicken or fish every time I try this method of cooking, but this is a no fail recipe. At least, I got it right the first time, so I'm calling it a no fail recipe. I put the fish over a bed of wilted garlicky spinach and had a side of arugula salad with a lemon vinaigrette and a shaving of Parmesan. The potatoes turned out perfectly crispy, and the fish, perfectly flaky! Try it! Here's the recipe.

PS - I didn't use Yukon Gold, I just used a good ol' Russet. And I also don't have a mandolin, so I used a potato peeler to make thin slices.

Sexiest Veg

My new favorite veggie has to be the beautiful Swiss chard. Not only is it delicious, it's also tasty and healthy too! And damn it if its not one of the sexiest greens! Here's how I eat it.

Rinse and dry the chard and cut off the rough ends. Chop up about 2 slices of thick cut bacon (you can leave this part out if you're trying to watch your weight or don't do the pork thing). Add bacon to a large saute pan and cook until almost crisp (just use olive oil if you skip the bacon). Add in about 3 cloves of chopped garlic and a teaspoon of crushed red pepper. Once the garlic becomes soft add in the stems of the chard, cut into about 1 inch pieces. Stir the stems coating them with the bacon grease or olive oil and then add about 1 cup of chicken stock. Keep at a medium heat until the chicken stock reduces and stalks are tender, then add in the chard leaves, roughly chopped. Wilt the leaves as you would spinach and add salt and pepper to taste.

It's such a quick and tasty side dish! Your family will love you for it.

Take Me to Bread or Lose Me Forever

Breads. French Bread, Sourdough, Multi-grain, Whole grain, Soda bread, Pita bread, Bagels, Baguettes, Naan, Rye, Boule, Foccacia, Ciabatta, Flatbread. There are literally thousands of types of Bread. Every culture has a Bread. Bread can be used as a utensil. It can be used to keep cookies soft. Hell, here's 7 uncommon uses for Bread right here . You can eat it for breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert. Bread is heavenly. I love Bread. If you know me, you know that if I had my pick of one last thing to stick in my mouth, it would be buttered Bread. Textured Breads are my favorite. If I nearly break my jaw chewing Bread, I'm in heaven. If I chip a tooth off some seed or grain in my Bread, don't send me to the Dentist, just give me a piece of Bread and I'll make a tooth mold from it. Notice that the word Bread is capitalized here. That's because Bread is so good. It deserves nothing less than capitalization!

My point is...Bread is awesome. And you should make your own, because besides eating Bread, there's nothing better than your entire house smelling like Bread. I suck at baking, but since I love Bread so much, I've decided to give it a go...for Bread's sake. And here are my new Bread babies:

Rosemary, Salt & Pepper Ciabatta Bread

And...

Multi-grain Whole Wheat Bread

Aren't they beautiful? I have already eaten both of them and they were delicious, and healthier than the Bread you buy in the grocery store, because you actually have free reign over what ingredients to use. If you want true whole grain Bread (not the crap that SAYS it's whole grain), you can make true whole grain Bread. If you'd rather have sesame seeds and flax seed than oatmeal and cracked wheat, by all means, add in whatever makes you happy!

I will probably look a little doughy in a bathing suit this year, but at least I'll smell like freshly baked BREAD!!

(The Multigrain recipe is adapted from America's Test Kitchen Recipe and the Ciabatta recipe was made after watching an episode of Anne Burrell's "Secret's of a Restaurant Chef", so if you want 'em - search for 'em and if you can't find them, I guess I will give them up if you ask nicely.)

Finally Mastered Scallops

Usually when I make scallops they turn out resembling the texture of a rubber eraser. You know, the pink kind that we all once chewed on in Elementary School. Don't act like you never put one of those in your mouth. But this time, they turned out perfectly! They could have been a little more browned, I know, but the texture was similar to the texture of scallops I pay $22 bucks a plate for at nice restaurants! Melt in your mouth delicate. And this meal was healthy! Asparagus, cherry tomatoes, garlic, shallot, a little lemon, a touch of butter, crushed red pepper, salt & black pepper and some chicken broth. All sauteed together in one pan. Don't be afraid of scallops. Even if they turn out bad the first couple of times, they still taste good. But when you finally master them you can invite people over and blow their minds with your expert scallop cooking techniques!

The Southerner Within

I have always loved Southern food. Grits, cornbread, black-eyed peas, biscuits and gravy, home cookin' that takes all day long to make and makes the entire house fill up with comforting aromas, it's a thing of beauty. I also love big antebellum homes surrounded by beautiful azalea bushes. I used to think I MUST have been a Southerner in a past life. But then I remember how improper I am.

Turducken — The Ultimate in Thanksgiving Gorging

This is an article I wrote back in 2005. Tis the season...

We the people have been known to take our eating habits to the extreme. From fad diets such as Atkins and South Beach, to having the highest obesity rate in the world, we either love to starve ourselves or strive to be the most gluttonous people on the planet.

Let’s talk Turducken. A turducken is a turkey stuffed with a duck, stuffed with a chicken. Turducken is the latest Thanksgiving craze and is on its way to becoming more popular than the much loved fried turkey. However, the Cajun concocted turducken has been around for quite some time, it has only recently become something to serve at the Thanksgiving table.

The turducken is said to have been invented in the 1980s by famous chef Paul Prudhomme. According to Prudhomme, he first started making Turduckens in the 60s and began manufacturing the dish in the 80s. Today, prepared Turduckens sell from around $80-$115 dollars (not including shipping) and are increasingly gaining popularity around Thanksgiving time.

If you are one of the many brave meat lovers in the world, you can make this “tri-brid” from scratch at home, as long as you have a good set of knives, an accurate oven and about 15 hours. And if you’re a vegetarian, PETA activist, or just plain faint of heart, please read on at your own discretion.

First, you’ll need a 20-25 pound turkey, a five-pound duck and a four-pound chicken, according to Prudhomme’s recipe at Chef Paul's website.

Next comes the blood, sweat and tears. You must de-bone all three of these birds because one of the unique things about a turducken is that you can slice right through it, unlike the traditional Thanksgiving turkey where you must cut around the carcass to get to the meat.

De-boning the birds is difficult and only gets easier with practice, which is probably why many people choose to buy their turduckens. If cracking the bones of an innocent, dead bird makes you ill, check out cajunstuff.com for information on buying one.

After you de-bone the turkey, the duck, and chicken will be much easier. When you have finally made all three birds boneless it’s time to concentrate on the stuffings. Yes, I said stuffings, with an s. A turducken wouldn’t be completely gluttonous without three different kinds of stuffing — one for each bird. You’ll need about 12 cups of dressing for a 25-pound bird. Chef Paul’s traditional turducken recipe requires andouille sausage stuffing, cornbread stuffing and finally, shrimp stuffing.

The assembly of the turducken is the fun part. Laying the boneless turkey flat on a surface, thoroughly season with 1/3 of the seasoning called for in Prudhomme’s recipe. Pack the cold andouille sausage stuffing into the leg, wing and thigh cavities of the turkey, being careful not to overstuff, as overstuffing will cause the leg and wing to burst open during cooking. After packing the cavities, spread an even layer of stuffing over the rest of the meat, using about seven cups of stuffing so it’s about three-quarters of an inch thick.

Next, place the duck, skin side down, on top of the dressing so that it lies evenly over the turkey and is about one-half of an inch thick. Rub with seasoning and use about 4 cups of the cornbread stuffing to cover the duck meat.

Finally, lay the chicken skin side down on top of the cornbread stuffing, season and stuff with the shrimp stuffing (about 2 cups).

Once you are finished stuffing smaller critters into bigger critters and cramming all three birds with stuffing, your next step will require a team effort. You’ll need two people to squeeze the right and left side of the turkey around the other birds like you do to your luggage when you pack too heavily for a trip; one to sew the bird up and try to make it resemble the turkey it once was, and another to hold open the oven door while the rest of you strong-arm your meal into a 190 degree Fahrenheit oven. The turducken will need about 12-13 hours of roasting time and about an hour to cool. So be sure to have a selection of appetizers on hand for your drooling guests.

If you follow the recipe from Chef Paul, you can feed up to 34 guests. Having a larger party than that? In Texas, where everything is bigger, they have the pigturducken, which is, you guessed it, a chicken squeezed into a duck, squeezed into a turkey, squeezed into a pig.

Turduckens are the newest in extreme cooking and because they are so challenging, they are so rewarding to eat. Although turduckens may not be suitable for the flavorfully or carnivorously challenged, your more adventurous guests are sure to eat it up.

If you think you have the time, energy, strength and patience to take on a turducken, go to Chef Paul's website to shock, astonish or simply mortify your guests at your next dinner party.

Macaroni n' Cha Cha Cheese

Ahhh...the things Macaroni n' Cheese can do for the soul. It cures depression, anxiety, stress, erectile dysfunction (yes, indeedy), etc. It's creamy deliciousness can turn a bad day into a day of bliss. It can also rid you of that cheese that's about to spoil if you don't do something with it soon. Here's my recipe for the best Mac n' Cha Cha Cheese:

1 box of macaroni (boiled according to package instructions)
6 slices of cooked bacon
3 tablespoons of flour
3 tablespoons of butter
1 cup of onion
3 cloves of garlic
1 cup of milk (for extra creamy m&c I use 1/2 cup of half n half & 1/2 cup of milk)
Then for the cheese, I use whatever's in my fridge. For this particular recipe I used about 2 oz. of blue cheese, 2 oz. of Gruyere and about 1 cup of a cheddar/monterey jack mix.
1 tsp. cayenne pepper
1/4 cup of bread crumbs
1/2 cup parmesan cheese
salt n pepper

Cook macaroni, strain and set aside. In a large saucepan melt butter and saute onion until soft. Mix in garlic and cook for an additional minute. Mix in flour to create a roux. Cook flour for about 2 minutes so you don't get a gluish taste. Add in milk and bring to a boil, stirring like a mad man so as to not scold the milk. Reduce mixture to a simmer and allow to thicken.

Once the mixture is thick enough that it coats a wooden spoon, add in cheese and stir until cheese is melted and mixture is creamy goodness. Add in cayenne, and salt and pepper to taste. Then mix in crumbled bacon bits. (Do not use baco's or I will hunt you down and kill you).

Add macaroni to the cheese mixture (I add macaroni in slowly. Sometimes I have enough cheese sauce for the entire box of macaroni, sometimes I don't, so I eyeball it). Transfer mac n' cheese mix to a large casserole dish. Top with the breadcrumbs, spreading an even, light layer to the top. Top breadcrumbs with parmesan cheese and lightly drizzle olive oil over the top of the casserole dish to make sure the breadcrumbs brown.

Cook in a 375 degree oven for about 30 minutes or until cheese is bubbly and the breadcrumbs are browned.

Mmmm....Macaroni n' Cha Cha Cheese!

Pizza Pizza

Ahhh...pizza. A food I crave on a consistent basis. It doesn't matter if it's from Papa Johns, the Italian restaurant down the street, or the comfort of my own kitchen. Once the word pizza is spoken, it's all I can think about. But lately, I'm like every other American - I'm trying to save money, cut costs, NOT break the bank. So I've been experimenting with my own pizzas. If you're not a total foodie like me, pizza can be really cheap to make. It's yeast, flour, olive oil, water, and then whatever toppings you like. A can of tomato sauce and some cheese can make one of the simplest, yet most comforting pizzas.

I started off on the simple route. Cheese, maybe some pepperoni. If I got a wild hair, I'd throw on some mushrooms. But lately I've been trying to put anything I can find on pizza. Here are a few of my favorites:



Cajun Chicken with Pesto, Tomatoes Red Onion, Colby Jack and Mozzerella Cheese.



This is basically the same pizza but with Shrimp and Mozzerella rather than Colby Jack.



And finally, the latest, greatest creation. Shrimp & Scallops sauteed in butter & garlic with a pesto sauce and goat cheese and mozzerella. The goat cheese made this pizza so gourmet tasting. Topped with green onions for color. This pizza was DELISH.

Pizza has got to be one of my favorite foods to prepare because it's so versatile. You can pretty much top it with anything. Any type of cheese, meat or veggie. There isn't anything that doesn't go with pizza. Once you get the dough down (which I think I've finally done thanks to a few tweaks to my New Basics cookbook recipe, my kickass Kitchen Aid mixer with a dough hook, and my oven that fortunately allows me to preheat to 550 degrees).

I guess my point for this blog is...if you love pizza as much as I do. Don't be afraid to make it at home. I will stress that your first couple of trys should be simple pies. I know my first few crusts were a lot like eating cardboard. So here's the recipe that works best for me:

1 cup warm water
1 package active dry yeast
2 1/2 cups of flour (plus more for your counter and rolling pin)
2 tbsps of olive oil
1/2 tsp. salt

Combine water, yeast and flour into your Kitchenaid mixer (no I'm not getting money from Kitchenaid). Mix well. Add oil and salt and allow to mix for a good 5 minutes. This dough will be a little on the wet side, so remember that flour is your friend!

Place dough on a floured surface and knead a few times. For about 2 minutes (there's no way I would ever knead ANYTHING for 15 minutes). Tranfer dough to a lightly oiled (I spray mine with olive oil pam), glass bowl and cover with plastic wrap. Place in a warm dark area and allow to rise for about 2 hours (keep your eye on it though, it could take over a room if you allow it to!)

Right before you cook the pizza, punch down the dough and roll out onto your pizza pan. Let this crust rise for another 15 minutes. Top with whatever you please and place it in the oven until the cheese is melty and the crust is golden brown.

And on that note...I'm off to hijack some items in my fridge for my next pizza creation.

Why Elvis Got Fat

I've met quite a few interesting foods living in the South, but fried pickles are surely my favorite. I discovered them when I first moved here and thought they were just so-so, but I wasn't sold until just recently when I tried them at Gus's. Of course, anything they fry at Gus's is sure to make you fall in love with it, so I just had to recreate these tasty little spears at home - just to make sure they really had any place in my heart. You'll find that in the South they are made differently depending on where you go. Breadcrumb coated or beer battered. I'm partial to the breadcrumb coating because the beer batter becomes slightly soggy and I like my fried food crispy. The only thing I really like beer battered is the Fish part of Fish n' Chips. You also have the option of pickle chips or pickle spears. I like the spears because the warm pickle is what makes this treat so tasty, and you just don't get enough pickle with the spears. But if the chips are the only thing available, they hold their own.

It's quite easy...like frying anything. Take a saute pan, add about a 1/2 inch of oil to it and turn it on medium-high heat. Whisk an egg in one bowl, add some flour with salt and pepper in another and finally add some Italian seasoned breadcrumbs in a third. Once the oil is hot enough (you can tell by adding a pinch of the breadcrumb mixture, if it bubbles up, it's ready) dip your spear first into the flour, then into the egg wash and then coat in the breadcrumb mixture (the more coating you can get to stick, the better in my opinion). Place the pickles in the hot oil and fry for about 1 minute. Flip the pickle carefully, trying not to lose any of that crispy coating (not an easy task) and cook for another minute. Then place the pickles on paper towels to sop up any excess oil and you're ready to munch!

There is one odd thing I find about this dish - I hate ranch dressing. Can't stand it. But it's the only way to eat fried pickles. Something about the tartness of the pickle and the seasoning of the ranch really brings this all together. If you're skeptical, just try it. Hell you can fry up a single spear and if you don't like it, you're out 1 pickle. Big freakin' deal! TRY IT! I'm telling you, they're wonderful!

Wonder Drug World

I wrote this a while ago, but it's still one of my favorites:

You know, my sister is right. Her 5-year-old daughter shouldn't know what erectile dysfunction is at her age. But she does. Welcome to the Drug Age, where whatever your ailment, weve got something for you to swallow.

And if we don't, we'll make it, because whatever it will be, it will sell, and even if it kills thousands before we rip it off the market, we'll still make millions off it.

Can't wake up in the morning? Drive to your nearest convenience store and look no further than the drink section, where you'll find an array of liquid crack, which of course, is packaged and targeted at young children. For you more sophisticated legal crack users, there's always a double-shot of espresso in a can. Caution: Overuse of stimulants can cause sexual dysfunction, but never fear....

Just haven't been in the mood lately, too much Red Bull? Or is your hubby having problems getting a chubby? Another visit to your friendly doctor will get you and your spouse a one-way ticket to the bedroom for a few hours with your pretty, little, blue Viagra prescription. Caution: an erection lasting more than a few HOURS is not normal. Really?? DUH!

Children aren't paying attention at school? Why a simple visit to your pediatrician is sure to gain you a quickie prescription for Ritalin. Note: Do not call your doctor with concerns that your child is acting like a zombie. Isn't that why we REALLY wrote you that prescription in the first place? So that YOU the parent could deal with your children? And dont worry, children not wanting to eat anymore is a common side-effect of Ritalin, it should save you on future grocery expenses!

Arent meeting quotas at work? Adderall is your answer. Crack in a pill. The boss won't suspect a thing. AND, its basically doing cocaine without the worry of failing a drug test. HOORAY! Caution: Actually doing work at work may cause promotions, pay raises, more work to be distributed, or may make your lazy ass actually accomplish something. Take wisely.

Trying to lose a few inches? A trip to your neighborhood Walgreens will uncover some good old trusty Dexatrim or the oh-so-popular-with-bimbos Trim Spa Baaaby! Note to women: Men like women with curves. If it's girls youre trying to impress, join a sorority or become a lesbian and continue taking this drug. It's women who apparently aren't happy with the bodies they were born with. Not enough research (Cosmo) has been done (Glamour) to determine (Mademoiselle) why this is (Hollywood).

Nervous about that big presentation you got suckered into giving? Pop a tasty Xanax. Caution: tissues to clean up involuntary drooling associated with Xanax are not included with your prescription.

Depressed over that break-up with that guy who was oh-so-right? Remember, the one that you met in a bar while completely intoxicated, but were determined to save? Dont worry, take your pick: Paxil, Prozac or Zoloft. Hell, get all three and take the one that matches your outfit that day. Remember: Crying it off only makes your face swell and eating ice cream will probably add 2 pounds per week. You'll have to have a back up of Trim Spa during this spell.

We live in a society that is no longer patient enough to deal with simple problems. A good cry isnt good enough anymore. Time heals all. What? In OUR society? Time is of the essence. Were running out of time. What time IS it? There isn't enough time in the day. THESE are the only cliches about time that we know anymore. We want solutions and we want them fast. We're no longer willing to sit down and speak with a specialist, unless that person is going to prescribe a remedy. We dont want to weigh the options anymore; we're content to get our answers in small orange-colored bottles.

My niece and nephew are growing up in Generation Medicine Cabinet. Generation: Here Take This. They are the ones that will have to wake up and decide whether or not they can handle a situation or whether or not the pressure is something they can deal with on their own. Much like my sister and I did. The only difference is that their lives are littered with non-stop advertisements for drugs and quick fixes that consume what they read, their airwaves, their roadways and their lives. They will have to choose to take life with a grain of salt or take it with a little white pill. And THAT is the pill that Im currently having trouble swallowing.